Why Ronnie left
by GGabz
Summary: A letter, explaining all. Inspired by tonights live episode. Please Review, thanks.


I remember the times, when I was younger. Thirteen, fourteen. Going through the teenage stages. Mum not wanting to know me. Dad being Dad. Roxy hearing, but not listening. Mind you, that's the best thing about Rox, she hears, but never takes it in. Never over thinks it. She's brilliant in that way. I can talk to her when I didn't have Amy, Danielle. I look after her. She's like my own daughter. Or maybe I made her that way.

When Mum left, I was left to look after Rox myself. To be the strict one. Dad loved Rox, never me. Told her she was his 'precious princess'. I knew better, than to believe his lies. He loved her like a daughter. He loved me like a lover. Even then I wasn't a lover. More like a toy, the final resort. That one time, he used me. He did that smile, shut the door, and said 'everything's going to be ok, its me and your old man'. He did that thing, I can't even say it. No wonder I cant control anything in my life. Jack, Joel. I need to say it, I need to say it. I can't. A word that isn't in my dictionary.

Then with Joel, my teenage love. Yes I'm saying that. When I got back with him last year, I realised that. Me becoming pregnant, and my Dad giving him money so he left. My Dad loved giving me pain. He handed it to me on a plate. He knew how to make it worse. He knew me, inside and outside. He controlled me. I resent the fact he could control me. My Dad, doing his second worse thing, making me give my baby away. My baby. My Danielle. He did that to me, then sucked my last inch of happiness I could of ever had, and took Joel with it.

I wish I could talk to Jack, but he's another rat, doing it with my sister. My sister. I thought he loved me? Obviously not, I wish I knew at that time. Then I used him, to get revenge. Revenge on him. And it settled me. Made me so I can cope being around him. Knowing I had got him back. Making it one all. There was something inside me that made me love him. But it went as soon as he did the one thing. I hate being hurt. I'm hurt constantly.

When Dad came back into my life, he took away the confidence in the second I saw him that I had gained during the years in Ibzia. He made me that thirteen year old again. This time though, their was the last of confidence that didn't want to go away that easily. It made me want to fight him. I fought him, all the way through to his death, and beyond.

Then theirs you, you. The girl I just threw to one side, I tried so hard not to care for you. I wanted to. But you reminded me so much of my little girl. Being the same age, the blonde hair, the eyes you had were exactly like hers. The person I'm writing this to. My Baby Amy. I'm so Sorry, for treating you like scum. I'm sorry, for not caring before. I'm sorry, so sorry. I hope writing this makes you realise why I put that cold exterior to you. I didn't even believe you. I didn't want to believe you. Because it meant my Dad had lied to me again. Again. He said things would get better. They didn't. You made sure of that. You know what? I'm glad. By this time me and Dad, we started to get along. I had almost forgiven him. Almost. You stopped that. Amy, Danielle. I love you. But you need to know this. Me and Joel, we didn't even make love back in my teenage years. That's why Dad hated you. Because he knew, he knew. You're my daughter, and my sister. You needed to know the truth. But your gone. You went within seconds of me seeing you after I believed you.

I was pregnant again, my second chance. But HE saw to that. Killed her, I'm sure it was a her. In my body, she was just like you.

Your best friend. Stacey. He did it to her too. Made her go loopy. He chose to manipulate me, you, and Stacey. If you were here. I would be better if you were here. You would of made it better. You would of looked after Stacey, I would look after you.

I can't deal with this anymore. I just want to be with you. I'm letting it out. My Dad, touched me, and we made you. My daughter. I'm writing this so that I can at least tell someone, even if it is this piece of paper. Why I'm leaving the world. Why I'm joining you. I can't bear the pain any longer. I can't stand the hurt. Why I want to look after you. Be with you. Help you. Be there for you. Hold you.

Danielle Jones, Amy Mitchell Senior. I love you

Your mum, Veronica Mitchell

19/02/2010.

**Inspired by tonights live episode. What do you think? Only being a one shot. Please review.**


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